Mommy Kisses (Warning Graphic Material)
A many of you may know, while a cook, musician, writer, roustabout, good for nothing, knave, twit, half-wit, Genius, drunkard, trivia master, and snot nosed little brother, I am above all else an idea man. I have no time for the nuts and bolts of the 'how to'. I am the man behind the men who think up the things to make for the people that make things. My list of grand ideas is impressive. (And many are pending patent. So don't get any ideas. My lawyers are watching!)
I can't believe it's not Vegetable/Fruit: Unfortunately the passing of the atkins diet craze has left this meat based produce supplement in the dust.
Teddy Foreskin, the erotic story telling cousin of Teddy Ruxspin
Paleo-Place; an anthropological dining experience
The Tater-Dog: A corn dog wrapped in Tater Tot
'I've already slept with everyone here': A dating service for the Service industry
The list goes on, but more importantly it keeps growing. Which brings me to my new idea. The seed was planted while watching the World Cup of Futbol. It seems that several times during a match players, without apparent cause, would drop to the ground clutching shins, calves, knees, ankles etc. A trainer/medic/faith based healer would run on to the field, assess the situation and then quickly break out a spray bottle. After being thuroughly anointed with the spray the player would jump an dbe ready to play again. What miracle was in this bottle? What magic, what mystical concentration was being applied? Upon recently injuring myself at work, of which I am still suffering horrible pain from, I began to ask myself this question again. What is this special spray and where can I find it. My second thought though was what could the spray be. Of course, what is the panacea for any bruise, scraped, sprain or burn? It's Mommy Kisses you idiot! Fucking Mommy Kisses! There is no greater healing essence known to man. Mommy kisses is what I needed!*(Aaron see below) But Mommy is too far away! So here's the idea. We bottle concentrated mommy kisses! Get a sweat shop filled with deperate single moms, empty nesters, grandmas, house moms looking for a little cash on the side for that new addition to the house. Now here's where the science gets fuzzy (not my strong suit). We take these collected MK's (Mommy Kisses) distill them , or whatever science stuff needs to happen, bottle them and make a freakin' fortune! I'll be looking for backers and science people to make this plan happen. This is gonna be big! Get on board now or be left behind.
*Aaron, I know what your suggestion is gonna be; however you are not nor will you ever be a mommy, nor is what you will propose technically a kiss.
I can't believe it's not Vegetable/Fruit: Unfortunately the passing of the atkins diet craze has left this meat based produce supplement in the dust.
Teddy Foreskin, the erotic story telling cousin of Teddy Ruxspin
Paleo-Place; an anthropological dining experience
The Tater-Dog: A corn dog wrapped in Tater Tot
'I've already slept with everyone here': A dating service for the Service industry
The list goes on, but more importantly it keeps growing. Which brings me to my new idea. The seed was planted while watching the World Cup of Futbol. It seems that several times during a match players, without apparent cause, would drop to the ground clutching shins, calves, knees, ankles etc. A trainer/medic/faith based healer would run on to the field, assess the situation and then quickly break out a spray bottle. After being thuroughly anointed with the spray the player would jump an dbe ready to play again. What miracle was in this bottle? What magic, what mystical concentration was being applied? Upon recently injuring myself at work, of which I am still suffering horrible pain from, I began to ask myself this question again. What is this special spray and where can I find it. My second thought though was what could the spray be. Of course, what is the panacea for any bruise, scraped, sprain or burn? It's Mommy Kisses you idiot! Fucking Mommy Kisses! There is no greater healing essence known to man. Mommy kisses is what I needed!*(Aaron see below) But Mommy is too far away! So here's the idea. We bottle concentrated mommy kisses! Get a sweat shop filled with deperate single moms, empty nesters, grandmas, house moms looking for a little cash on the side for that new addition to the house. Now here's where the science gets fuzzy (not my strong suit). We take these collected MK's (Mommy Kisses) distill them , or whatever science stuff needs to happen, bottle them and make a freakin' fortune! I'll be looking for backers and science people to make this plan happen. This is gonna be big! Get on board now or be left behind.
*Aaron, I know what your suggestion is gonna be; however you are not nor will you ever be a mommy, nor is what you will propose technically a kiss.
posted by Vapid1 at 12:18 AM
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